The best paragliding jokes

Last update: Tue 16 Aug 2016 04:39:46 PM CEST

On this page you find the best paragliding jokes and lots of fun about paraglider pilots and hang glider pilots.

  • How can you tell which persons are paraglider pilots at an outdoor concert crowd? They are the ones looking up at the sky instead of the stage.

  • Cumulus clouds are like women. The next one looks better and better.

  • Paraglider pilot: "Why do we fly without motor? Because we can!"

  • How do you make a paraglider pilot do what you want? Pull some strings.

  • How many paraglider pilots does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but only if you can find a launch site to get to it.

  • How do you make a hang glider pilot quit flying? Take away his car.

  • What's the difference between a paragliding instructor and a large pizza? The large pizza can feed a family of four.

  • There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing on a Paraglider. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

  • Paragliders can kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.

  • A friend recently had all his lines cut to get down from a tree. After that he said the glider was the new no-liner with a Bluetooth connection.

  • Someone get me down from this tree! I am writing this massage from my mobile phone...

  • One paragliding instructor was talking to another about different types of people they had encountered in the sport. One instructor says, "I even worked with a blind pilot."
    "Really," says the other instructor, "what was that like."
    "The guy was good. He would walk around launch to get a sense of the slope and wind, then hook in and go, straight off launch, perfect every time. He could sense thermals perfectly and routinely had epic flights."
    "Wow," said the other instructor. "But how were his landings?"
    "Great," the first instructor said. "He'd just set up and when the dog's leash went slack, he'd flare!"

  • What do you tell a paraglider pilot with two black eyes?
    Nothing, the idiot has already been told twice.

  • How is the wind at the launch site? Tailwind from the front!

  • You know you are a real paraglider when... You get a postcard from a friend and you check the sky on the card for Cumulus and wonder if it's a good place to fly.

  • Not working?
    My wife left a note on the fridge.
    "It's not working, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay at my parents."
    I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold.
    Not sure what she was talking about!

    Not working? -- Paraglider version
    My wife left a note on my paraglider.
    "It's not working, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay at my parents."
    I opened the wing on launch, kited it up and took off.
    Not sure what she was talking about!


More fun about paragliding and witty sayings of paragliding flight instructors:

  • Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

  • Never let your paraglider take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

  • If we are what we eat, then some pilots should eat more chicken.

  • Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

  • Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

  • Experience is a hard teacher. First comes the test, then the lesson.

  • You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

  • The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

  • When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No-one has ever collided with the sky.

  • Without thermals or ridge lift, pilots become pedestrians.

  • Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

  • Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.


 

You know more jokes about Paragliding? Just put it here...

Comments 2

Achim (Mon 11 Feb 2013 - 03:29:53 PM CET)
No one needs a helmet for flying. Head injuries typically occur on the ground.
Skip (Thu 28 Dec 2017 - 10:43:48 AM CET)
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a some money for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted fifty dollars and asked,

"If I give you this money, will you buy whiskey with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you spend this on a paragliding instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't flown paragliders in 10 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded.

"Won't your wife be angry with you for doing that?

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and paragliding."

 

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