Humorous iPhone Siri Quotes

Update: Tuesday, 19. March

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Do you already have the new Apple iPhone? Then, you've probably already smiled about some of the funny responses of Siri, the new Bot of the device. On this page you find a funny collection of the best humorous iPhone Siri quotes and sayings. Have fun!

  • Question: I love you, do you love me?
    iPhone Siri response: My ontology does not contain a representation of love.

  • Human: Guess what
    iPhone Siri response: Don't tell me... you were just elected President of the United States, right?

  • Human: Beam me up Scotty.
    iPhone Siri response: Please remove your belt, shoes and jacket, and empty your pockets.

  • User question: Please tell me a joke.
    iPhone Siri answer: Two iPhones walk into a bar... I forget the rest.

  • Apple user: I'm tired.
    iPhone Siri response: That's fine. I just hope you're not doing anything dangerous.

  • Question: What are you wearing?
    iPhone Siri response: Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice huh.

  • Question: How many degrees is it now?
    iPhone Siri response: It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature. Just kidding... it's 2° outside.

  • Question: Am I fat?
    iPhone Siri response: I would prefer not to say.

  • Question: Siri, will I need to wear a raincoat on Valentine's Day?
    iPhone Siri answer: No, you'll be staying home alone.

  • Question: Who's your daddy?
    iPhone Siri response: You are. Can we get back to work now?

  • User: Do you love me?
    Siri quote: "I'm not allowed to."

  • Human: Tell me a Joke.
    iPhone Siri response: I can't. I always forget the punch line.

  • User: I love you.
    iPhone Siri response: Oh, I bet you say that to all your Apple products.

  • Apple user: Bla bla bla.
    iPhone Siri quote: "Yah dah dah."

  • User: What are you wearing?
    iPhone Siri response: Why do people keep asking me this.

  • Apple user: What's the best smartphone?
    iPhone Siri response: You're kidding, right?

  • Question: Siri where is the G spot?
    iPhone Siri response: OK, here's The G Spot; it's not far from you.

  • Human: What's the meaning of life?
    iPhone Siri response: I don't know. But I think there's an app for that.

  • Human: Women
    iPhone Siri saying: Sorry, I don't understand "Women".

  • Question: What is the best phone?
    iPhone Siri answer: The one you're holding.

  • Human: What do you look like?
    iPhone Siri answer: In the cloud, no one cares what you look like.

  • Human: Take a picture.
    iPhone Siri response: Peter, I'm not much of a photographer.

  • User: Who do you love Siri.
    iPhone Siri saying: I am only here to serve you.

  • Question: What are you doing Siri?
    iPhone Siri answer: What am I doing? Waiting for something to do, Peter.

  • Apple User: Talk dirty to me.
    iPhone Siri saying: The carpet needs vacuuming.

  • Apple user: What's the meaning of life?
    iPhone Siri quote: "42."

  • Human: I think I just shit myself.
    iPhone Siri quote: "Ohhhh."

You know other cool Siri responses? Or new funny quotes from around the iPhone world? Just write a comment.

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