Corona Virus Jokes

Update: Fri 17 Jul 2020 01:43:25 PM CEST

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Even in the Corona crisis, we keep our humor and try to make the best of this situation. So here you can find sarcastic jokes about the coronavirus pandemic and COVID-19. In case you don't like these kind of jokes please find many other topics in the large joke collection.

  • I know a great joke about Corona Virus, you probably won't get it though.
  • If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should've been seeing a Doctor long before COVID-19.
  • Thinking a mask is going to stop Covid-19 is the same as thinking that your underpants will protect everyone from a fart.
  • My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately, now when I pee I clean the toilet.
  • Day 2 without sports: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she is my wife. She seems nice.
  • Before Corona Virus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough.
  • Shopping now has become a real life version of PacMan. You have to avoid everyone...
  • The owner of my gym just emailed a more thorough detailed, thoughtful plan for dealing with Coronavirus than the President of the United States.
  • Doctor: "Your Covid-19 test came back positive". 
    "That can't be correct. I have more than 300 rolls of toilet paper".
  • Staying home is way harder when someone says you have to.
  • Chuck Norris has been exposed to the Coronavirus. The virus is now in quarantine for a month.
  • The bad news is there’s a Coronavirus outbreak in Chicago, the good news is fewer people are dying.
  • A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus"
  • Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
  • Who'd a thought "I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole" would become our national slogan.
  • The Coronavirus has achieved what no female has every been able to achieve. It has cancelled sports, closed all bars and kept all guys at home!
  • 2020 is a unique leap year. It has 29 days in February, 310 days in March and 30 years in April.
  • If I get quarantined for two weeks with my wife and I die. I can assure you it was not the virus that killed me.
  • Kid: "Hey mum, when is this Coronavirus thing gonna be over?"
    Mum: "Just shut up and eat your toilet paper!"
  • Knock knock. Who is there? Seriously, don't touch my door and get back two metres to social distance.

  • Since everybody has now started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste.
  • I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received from the staff in the last 10 years.

 

You know about another Corona joke not listed here? Please write a comment.

Comments 1

CovJoke (2020-07-17)
How do you pay? VISA, Mastercard, Toilet paper?

 

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