Wise sayings

Update: Sun 18 Sep 2022 10:35:41 PM CEST

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Here you find a collection of the best wise sayings, funny quotations of advice and wisdom.

  • A billion Chinese can't be wrong: eat rice.

  • In theory, there's no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

  • Everything is always okay in the end, if it's not, then it's not the end.

  • Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

  • It's not true that life is one damn thing after another. It's the same damn thing over and over.

  • Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.

  • When life gives you lemons make ice tea and laugh at the people trying to figure out how the hell you did it.

  • Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.

  • Better to not speak and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

  • I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

  • Be incomprehensible. If they can't understand you, they can't disagree with you.

  • Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

  • Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

  • No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid.

  • The other line moves faster.

  • I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

  • A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

  • There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

  • Dream as if you'll live forever; Live as if you'll die today.

  • If we all are here to help others, then what exactly are others here for?

  • The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

  • If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

  • Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.

  • When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

  • Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure they are not the same eight hours.

  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

  • Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.

  • A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the blackboard.

  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

  • Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

  • Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.

  • If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

  • A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

  • One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

  • Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

  • No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

  • Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

  • Before I speak, I have something important to say.

  • If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

  • A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

  • There are two rules for success: 1. Never tell everything you know.

  • Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

  • Differences are good. If two people agree, one of them is redundant.

  • Silence and smile are two powerful words. Smile is the way to solve many problems and Silence is the way to avoid many problems.

  • You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

  • On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

  • A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

  • A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

  • The only way to have a friend is to be one.

  • If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away.

  • Defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies.

  • Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

  • A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

  • If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

  • A diplomat is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.

  • Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

  • Half the people you know are below average.

  • If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

  • Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.

  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

  • You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.

  • The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

  • Lazy people work harder.

  • If the baby is happy, don't try to make it happier.

  • Don't tell me the sky's my limit when there are footprints on the moon.

You know other wise saying or wisdom quote? Or new funny advices? Just feel free to write a comment...

Comments 2

DavidMan (2013-04-05)
Some real cool wise sayings :)
Michael (2013-07-10)
This sayings are mazing


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