Here you’ll find a large collection of the funniest quotes from The Simpsons – featuring Homer, Bart, Mr. Burns, Krusty and many more. Enjoy these legendary lines from one of the most iconic TV shows of all time!
Chalkboard gag: “I will not waste chalk.”
Bart: “Eat my shorts!”
Homer: “D’oh!”
Homer: “Trying is the first step toward failure.”
Homer: “I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to hell?”
Homer: “To alcohol! The cause of—and solution to—all of life’s problems.”
Homer: “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.”
Homer: “No TV and no beer make Homer something something…”
Marge: “Homer, that’s not God… that’s just a waffle that Bart dropped.”
Bart: “I didn’t do it!”
Bart: “Ay, caramba!”
Lisa: “If anyone wants me, I’ll be in my room.”
Homer: “Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.”
Homer: “When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle—they’re on TV!”
Mr. Burns: “Excellent…”
Mr. Burns: “Release the hounds!”
Krusty the Clown: “Hey hey!”
Krusty: “I heartily endorse this event or product.”
Ned Flanders: “Okily-dokily!”
Homer: “Operator! Give me the number for 911!”
Homer: “I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?”
Homer: “I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!”
Homer: “Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.”
Homer: “Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?”
Bart: “I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?”
Ralph Wiggum: “I’m in danger!”
Ralph Wiggum: “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”
Chief Wiggum: “Bake him away, toys.”
Groundskeeper Willie: “Grease me up, woman!”
Comic Book Guy: “Worst. Episode. Ever.”
Comic Book Guy: “I’ve wasted my life.”
Homer: “Mmm… donuts.”
Homer: “Shut up, brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-tip!”
Homer: “If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.”
Lisa: “Bart, you are the living proof that evolution can go in reverse.”
Homer: “I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.”
Homer: “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
Is your favorite Simpsons quote missing from this collection? Do you love the sayings of Homer, Bart and the rest of Springfield? Leave a comment and share your favorite lines!